Friday and Saturday were an interesting mix of fun, and work. On Friday I snow blowed for two hours=FUN. I organized my kitchen cupboards=WORK. On Saturday I tore tickets at the Opera House =FUN. I also took the kids to the common and walked through 3 feet of snow=WORK... I mean FUN. I prepackaged Will's lunch for the next week and put his school clothes in his hanging Monday-Friday closet organizer=FUN? I have realized, it takes me a while, that anything can be fun. It really is all about your attitude.
Okay , I need to write about my conversation with my friend whose Father suddenly passed away. WOW, this was the first time since the passing of my own Dad, 10 years ago , that I had close friend's Dad pass away - I had met her dad. And when I spoke to her I found myself feeling those same feelings I felt 10 years ago. I had to control my tears. It was overwhelming! I am not totally sure if I was crying for her, me or both of us? Or if I was just upset at the unfairness of death itself? Whatever the reason, we had a great talk I could relate to everything she was saying and she seemed amazed that she was feeling the same feelings I had. I talked about how I can remember feeling guilty if I laughed or smiled. Wondering how could I possibly steal a moment of happiness during such an unhappy time? She had just told her fiancee that very same thing.
This is how I look at death..........
Death is not an event. It doesn't have an opening night, or an encore.
Death is not a story, it does not have a beginning, middle or an end.
Death is a never ending process, an infinite line in our universe.
We think death comes from out of nowhere and-BAM- we all act like it was some sort of accident when really we knew it was coming all along!
From the minute we lays eyes on someone the process of death begins and we carry that forever.
Bleak............... but think about it.
So I told my friend...as for the pain, "This too shall pass." What I didn't say is the process will forever remain.