Everyone Pitches In

Making most of our meals from scratch is work. When I was employed and out of the house for 9 plus hours a day five days a week it was really, really hard to make a majority of our meals from scratch. I did the best I could but running in the local grocery store and grabbing a hot roasted chicken and microwavable mashed potatoes was so easy. Ordering pizza on a Friday night just seemed like a nice end to the tough work week. Now that I’m home we still have pizza once a week but we stepped up to gourmet pizza. Homemade, thick, cheese-stuffed crust with veggies and bacon or burger.  Our homemade pizza is better than any purchased pizza we have ever had. The cost difference is huge. The crust cost only cents to make, .54cents to be exact. Making the crust seemed daunting at first but we figured out how to use our stand mixer or our bread maker to combine the ingredients without the mess.

The sauce, cheese (we buy brick cheese and grate it ourselves) and toppings average $7.00. $8.00 for an extra large, extra cheese, meat and veggie topped, stuffed crust, 12 slice gourmet pizza. Yummm!

Now that I am a stay at home-school at home Mom I do not have any excuse to not feed my family healthy, homemade, and low-cost meals. The difference is that now everyone pitches in. The boys and I are home all day and we can have the dinner prep completed before lunch. All the chopping, peeling, and measuring is completed and ready for the oven. Meal prep is a great opportunity to spend quality time with your family. Math, problem solving, planning and motor skills are just some of the skills that can be developed during this time. The boys are willing participants and I overlook many calamities to keep the mood light and cheerful. We have found that including the boys in the meal preparation they are more agreeable to trying new foods and in eating meals that look nothing like their boxed competitors. My husband is “famous” for his homemade macaroni and cheese. Our oldest child (soon to be 22) still request this meal when she is home. The recipe is baked and uses white sharp cheddar cheese so it looks nothing like the blue box that most kids would eat 3 times a day if they could. When macaroni and cheese is on the menu the boys argue over who will grate the cheese which is usually all grated by noon.

My husband works 40-60 hours a week and still pitches in. On his day off he will cook the main meal or help the boys and I. When we first met I assumed I would always do all of the cooking. I am the wife is that not my job? I have discovered that cooking is no ones job and its every ones job. Confused? Everyone regardless of gender needs to know how to cook. Everyone has different tastes and ideas. When everyone is a part of the process then generally everyone ends up happy. Happy = Good and everyone benefits from that.

Saving for what?

Recently I was asked by a reader what I was saving money for? The question struck me a number of ways. The dialogue in my head was random and not precise at all,.


Some thoughts that came to mind were;

1) What do you mean what am I saving for?
2) Big ticket items…what?
3) Why not save just to save?

Then it occurred to me that none of these answers would be sufficient. So I spent some time really thinking. What IS the goal here? Why am I pinching pennies so hard? The conclusion I came to is directly related to a frame of mind my generation, the late-thirty-something’s. The shared mentality of “I work hard! if I want something I am going to have it!” This way of thinking I can clearly relate to however it is not how I think now or at least not in the same way.

Years ago I can recall seeing a Movado Museum Face watch advertised in a magazine. The ad was exquisite and the colors, language and model all really grabbed me in an unusual way. Sometime soon after seeing that ad I saw the very same watch on TV. Although this time someone was wearing the watch on a talk show and a comment was made by the host on the high equality of the watch . The decision was made that someday I would have a Movado Museum Face watch. The kicker is at that point in my life I didn’t even wear or own A watch. Up until then I didn’t really even care to own a watch. Flash forward a few months and I am at the outlets and guess what? There is a Movado store. I beeline for the store and as I entered I swear I could hear the Angels singing. The store was beyond beautiful. Fancy chandeliers hung from the high ceilings, shiny pristine gold and silver accents were everywhere. The salespeople were all perfectly dressed and manicured. The whole experience felt important and exciting. The Museum Face Movado watches were displayed in the store’s most prestige’s location under locked glass. I approached them to find no visible price tag. A salesperson saw me and quickly approached with keys in hand. “ I know just the watch you are looking for,“ he stated cheerily. “You do?” I said skeptically. He pulled out a silver and gold Movado Museum Face watch and handed it to me. My heart was racing and I felt “happier“ than I could ever recall. I was wearing the exact watch “that I was looking for.” We talked a bit and he told me all about the history of Movado, the current BIG sale, the difference between outlet and store buying and so on. Finally after about a half an hour he stated the price. My heart sank at the $3,600.00 price tag. Which he informed me was $1,400.00 off regular retail. I thanked him and said I would talk it over with my husband. I left determined to get that watch! “Heck” I said “I work hard, if I want something I’m going to have it!” Months pass I find myself naturally navigating into jewelry stores. I was internet surfing for Movados -it had become a slight obsession. On a shopping trip to TJ Maxx I gandered at the jewelry counter and there it was! My Movado Museum Face watch ! The same watch I tried on at the Movado outlet in Manchester ,Vermont. I tried not to get too excited because I did recall the $3,600.00 price tag. However I was in TJ Maxx, so I ask the unkempt grumpy lady at the jewelry counter if I may try on the “silver and gold Movado Museum Face watch.” She slammed open the case ( I jumped-it was startling!) and yanked out the watch, hands it to me and-get this- walks away! She left me with a $5,000.00 retail Movado Museum Face watch! I’m slightly distracted by the events that led up to me wearing the watch so it didn’t occur to me to ask the saleslady for the price. I spent about 4 minutes looking the watch before I realized the price tag was hanging off it. Really, it was so shiny and beautiful I couldn’t take my eyes off the watch. I looked, looked again, then I summoned the saleslady to ask if she could read aloud the price on the tag because I was having difficulty with the small print. Reality was that my eyes were tearing with joy and I couldn’t believe the numbers I saw and wanted confirmation. “$369.99” she said. “I’ll take it” I said, before the last syllable left her lips. I wore it home, I wear it everyday and have for the past four plus years.

I paid cash for the watch and the buying experience was much different than it would have been at the fancy Movado store. A couple of things happened that require reflection. The first is that I was sucked in by advertising to make a big ticket purchase on something I hadn‘t ever thought of buying. I really do not know what compelling components the initial ad was comprised of and how it got to me, but it did. Then the successive episodes of seeing the very same watch penetrated my mind, scary, almost like brain washing. I truly felt strongly that I must have the watch. However I did not whip out a credit card at the Movado store when I initially found the “perfect” watch. This is where I differ from most. If I do not have the cash I do not buy. I scrimp and scrape and put money way so when I do find items that I want I can pay cash for them.

From my perspective I try to see more than just the item in front of me when I look at spending. What am I buying? Why am I making this purchase and the overall impact - ie am I helping the local economy? The environment? The impact on the future? Is this setting a good example? And so on. The Movado experience is another story. I was almost completely blinded by advertising. So much so that I longed for a certain watch when I did not even wear a watch. My judgment was effected by advertising. Well, my flag is up and I am hyper aware of selling tactics and I am careful not to fall into this same predicament again….or so I hope. With that said, Andy- I am saving so I can buy what I want, and pay cash of course.

Get Over It.....

A big house, lots of land, a fancy foreign car, a huge diamond ring, and more. You think you know what you want, but do you really know what it will require to get, maintain and hold on to it? Today is “Get Over IT Day”. This is a perfect opportunity for people to really think about what we perceive as the keys to our own personal happiness.


A house on the lake, If I only had a second home on the lake then I would be happy. An easy thought to have but lets break it down. Buying, furnishing and maintaining a second home may require you to work more to pay the additional bills. Taxes, utilities and expected entertaining would also be included. Would this excess work take more time? Yes. Does additional work make you (or your spouse) cranky, tired, irritable? Will you even have time to spend (awake) at either of your homes? How often, or rather how long would you truly enjoy that second home before it became a burden? Keep in mind this blog is not intended for people like Bill & Melinda Gates, this blog is for lower to middle-income people.

In early winter 2008 my family lost our entire house and garage in a fire. We lived in a lake town, but not on the lake, and the majority of the rentals at that time were lakeside and very expensive. A one-level large-yard lake house was available to us for the time period we required. The location was ideal only minutes from where we were rebuilding. We were getting a taste of life on the lake. We were thrilled to say the least.

The lake house rental was perfect. How beautiful the area was as we watched as the seasons change. Open water froze and the boys ice skated while I cross country skied. We roof raked and shoveled all winter long, which we oddly enjoy. In the spring we sat on the dock with friends and sipped wine. The kids splashed and played in the water. Dinner parties were held a few times a month. As time passed we realized for us to have a house on the lake it would be our only house. According to our calculations the mortgage would be around $3000.00 a month for 40 years and that would not include the $30,000.00-$40,000.00 annual taxes. The house was large and drafty. We found that it is always noticeably colder on the lake also. Utilities were included in the rental but I have an idea that the heating bills were very high.

To be honest the lake house just didn’t seem worth the time and expense. A third of the way into our stay my husband and I both said that it was nice to have the opportunity to see what the lake life was like although it wasn’t as great as we thought. Both of us realized we had some really distorted thoughts of grandeur regarding living on the lake.

Our delusional shock from lake side living has carried over into other parts of our lives. It would be nice to drive a Hummer or a shiny new Jag, as long as I don’t have to pay for it! I will continue to drive my Chrysler Pacifica. I will enjoy me little house - built low maintenance, energy efficient, easy to clean and very low taxes. I still live in a lake town but all those people who have lake houses, well, they pay big taxes so the rest of us enjoy low taxes.

Years back a good friend of my stated it was her twentieth wedding anniversary and she and he husband were looking at diamonds. I stole a glance at my own left hand and briefly longed for something sparkly to rest on my wedding band. A week later she displayed what looked like a close relative to the Hope Diamond. This ring was amazing! A big, sparkly, perfect diamond just over three-carats. I went home and cried with jealousy into my pillow. The following months our conversations consisted mainly about ring related difficulties. Money was tight because they bought the ring, she was always worried about losing the diamond or the entire ring slipping off her hand, or my favorite: the ring was hard to get used to because it was so heavy. I saw my friend recently and noticed she wasn’t wearing the ring. When I inquired on the whereabouts of the ring she said they decided to sell it and pay off some of their credit card debt. She also said “I don’t know what we were thinking when we bought that ring”. "I do," I said quietly to myself…and thanks.

Consider looking closely at the “things” you believe will make you happy. All the times you have said “if I only had ________then I would be happy”. Then look around and the “things” you do have, most of the happiness attached to tangible items is acquired during the planning process and maybe a little happiness during the early stages of ownership. That elation fades over time and what is the depreciation value? Is it worth it or should you just “get over it ?”

Controlling the bills you CAN control

You can control your bills and add quality to you life

The efforts to control the bills is a daily job. Being a stay at home Mom I can do that job easier than if I were working. Some bills are not controllable. Your mortgage for one is not entirely controllable. You may be able to refinance and get a lower interest rate but once you have that mortgage amount you can’t do anything to lower it each month. You can however pay additional on you principal and reduce the length of time you will be paying your mortgage-which I highly recommend. Now back to controlling the bills you can control.

Most bills you can just plain get rid of. It took my husband and I five years to get rid of all our credit card bills and another two to pay off old medical bills and clean up our credit report. We looked further into our bills and decided I did not truly need a cell phone, and we could go without internet at home and utilize the wireless service from our library. We cut $500.00 from our monthly budget by eliminating credit cards, cell service and internet. That is a total of $6,000.00 a year! Yes there was some frivolous spending attached to having those little plastic cards. What is left is our mortgage, land, student loans, car, music lessons, gasoline, utilities food/clothing/household, insurances and savings. I cannot express what a good feeling it is to not own a credit card and not have bills constantly filling my mailbox. It is a true feeling of financial freedom.

It hasn’t always been crystal clear to me on how two income families with children work so harmoniously. We tried it for a while because, well we thought we had to, and besides everyone else was doing it. Finally after exhaustion from running a home and a classroom and not being able to be really good at both I looked closely at what my goals were and why I wasn’t reaching them.

Goal #1) Have extra money to save

Goal #2) Be a quality Mother, Wife and Teacher

Securing a $20,000.00 a year salary job, let’s call it $1,200.00 a month take home. Can I save $1,200.00 a month? When I was teaching I spent: $800.00 a month on groceries, purchased work specific shoes and clothing at the thrift in addition to regular clothes, extra expenditure $100.00 for the year. I paid for childcare for my two youngest at $240.00 a month in addition to special convenience items and clothes for school which I estimate at around $300.00 for the school year. Gasoline consumption was way up. Not only am I driving to work but I was also carting children around. My monthly gasoline bills were $160.00 on average. I do not want to forget to mention the carelessness that went along with me being a working Mother. Things like cooking from scratch all the time, spending a Saturday thrift store shopping for recital clothes and just turning of a light when I leave a room… forget it I was too tired, didn’t have the time or just plain forgot. Estimating the monthly money spent for being too tired and forgetful $200.00. Adding up the numbers offers a grand monthly average of a little more than $1400.00 a month and I was bringing home only $1,200.00. Wait, now there is some subtracting to do. I still by groceries and gas, however my monthly food budget for family of 4 is $300.00 and my gasoline budget is $60.00 a month. The real bottom line number is $1,040.00. It cost me $1,040.00 a month to make $1,200.00 a month. A gain of only $15.00 a week! No fancy math just plain numbers.

Expenditures for me as a working Mom bringing home $14,40.00 yearly and $1,200.00 a month

$9,600.00 groceries
$100.00 work clothes
$2,400.00 childcare
$300.00 convenience items and school clothes
$2,400.00 too tired and forgetful expenses
$1,900.00 gasoline for car



TOTAL $16,700.00 yearly and $1,400.00 a month



Comparative expenditures for me as a Home schooling Stay-at-Home Mom

$3,600.00 groceries

.00 work clothes

.00 childcare

.00 convenience items and school clothes

.00 too tired and forgetful

$720.00 gasoline for car


TOTAL$4320.00yearly and $360.00 a month


A DIFFERENCE of $1040.00.

When I was working 40 plus hours a week I was basically working to bring home $60.00 a month/ $15.00 a week…which could be argued as wear and tear on my vehicle.

This scenario may not play out the same for every working Mom. There are certainly other factors to look at. I was working at a private school and there was no retirement benefits so I did not have that consideration. For me it was clear that when I am home I spend less…a lot less than when I work. I can tell you that the value of my time is much a better quality. I have more energy and time to spend with my family and friends. I feel good about the food I put on the table each night and our savings account actually looks better now than when I was working.

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